Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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