Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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