She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
