glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
