guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
