People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize