It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
