How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
she told me i tasted like america
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I fill condoms, not promises.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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