She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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