love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize