can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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