How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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