How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
