I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
