fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
