Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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