Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
