if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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