Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize