Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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