sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
