Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
