hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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