bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
he just fucked me for my cheese..
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
