He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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