So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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