You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
