Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
