i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
