Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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