dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
