Your mouth is God's brothel.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I need a hoe opinion
go on
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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