That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
