Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
