when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Barsexuality is the new black.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
