is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
