we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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