So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
