We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize