Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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