I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
