Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
