I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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