dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize