what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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