Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
