Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
