So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
