Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize