love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
