Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
