belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
