apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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