I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
