when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
