I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
birth control should be required to get into college
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
