Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
