Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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