I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
