OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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