1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
