dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
