i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
