my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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