So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
