omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
