CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
