My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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