next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
