so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
