Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
