3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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