Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
