you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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