Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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