batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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